I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize