just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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