everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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