dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize