We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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