how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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