You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
