How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
