farters have to be the big spoon...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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