South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize