Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
