Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize