I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
