god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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