when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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