no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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