Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
