You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize