We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
