I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
