I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think i have two assholes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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