I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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