you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
