Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
