You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You are the jesus of drinking
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
