Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
