I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The uberlube is also flammable
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
