Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This house was built for laser tag.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
