I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
