I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
