Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
