then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
