You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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