My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
