You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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