i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just found a bag of teeth...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
