i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
