I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
