shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
