In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
