if only i could text you this smell
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
