I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
