I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
