explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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