Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
