I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
