I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
