Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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