you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
