I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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