Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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