i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
