you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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