He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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