oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
